What the Hell Happened to Me?!

I was going through an old Photobucket account and I came across pictures of myself "back in the day".
I used to think I was hideous... and now I look back and realize just how pretty I was. Please notice the keyword in the previous sentence; was. I think my face has just gotten fatter maybe. I don't know. This picture was taken about 4 years ago, and I'm sitting here wishing I could go back in time knowing then what I know now. Yea, I know I wasn't a beauty queen even then, but compared to what I look in the mirror at now... I look 10X better in that picture and it was only taken 4 years ago!

ugh... enough of memory lane and self pity. The twins have been great today, we're still working on the potty training... its hell, I'm not even going to lie. Today they put their sandals on all by themselves, held hands, and walked up and down the hallway for like 20 mins... it was so cute! They also learned the colors "pink" and "blue". I think they have them down pat, so if they still know them tomorrow, we will throw "green" in there!

I had a handful of Captian Crunch this morning and I've been drinking ice water ever since.... oh... and cigs. So I don't plan on eating anything else today... unless I decide to have a salad later.

I may also update later... but here's some thinspo until then.....

an oldie but a goodie

i think she is just GORGEOUS.... so perfect!
again, an oldie, but a goodie

Well hello... and welcome to new my blog! I am very excited to start this blog to "document" a part of my life that I have nobody to talk to about... I am ana/mia. I struggle with this daily and I have the epitome of a love/hate relationship with it. I am a thinspo fanatic... so expect a lot of it... I am more into "real girl" thinspo.


I also struggle with a lot of guilt from day to day, because I have a family of my own to take care of. Yes, I am a mother to twins, one boy and one girl. I was ana/mia before I got pregnant with them, I did stop during the pregnancy because I put them and their health first. But post pregnancy was horrible... my body has been ruined, period.


I also have a fiance who is deployed to Iraq now. He knew about my ED pre pregnancy, but has no idea about this time.... and it will stay that way. He would be furious and wouldn't understand. My love will be back from deployment around Sept. of '09. I miss him so much... and I cannot wait for him to be back home, safe with us!


So you can expect a lot of thinspo, updates on myself, my wonderful children, and my other half which is in Iraq.

On a side note, if you are an everyday calorie counter looking to have an eating disorder, please leave now... I in no way, shape, or form condone eating disorders and I am NOT going to "help" you form one.


I'll be back on tomorrow to update. Hope everyone is doing well and has a good night.